A Date; An Evaluation

So what's going on? Why is dating such a difficult thing for a black female. And I'm not even THAT picky. I met this guy a few weeks ago walking to the A train from my sister's house. He was very nice looking, cocoa brown, straight teeth, argyle sweater. I was like "Whoa, uptown!" I know what you're thinking. Why should this excite me the way it did; let me elaborate, a little, on my community. I live in Harlem. There are plenty of good looking brothas around my neighborhood. Plenty! They might even have good conversation, nice cologne and pressed clothes, but ask them about an email account and it's all shits and giggles from their end. So when I see homeboy, I'm like wow, he looks like he has email. He reaches out to me by commenting on the cigarette in my hand. "You really shouldn't smoke", he says. "I know, I'm quitting." I respond. It was my first smoke in 3 days AND I was tipsy, but no excuse! Anyway, we get the chattin and he has great convo so we exchange numbers. Of course we hang out for a few weeks and everything is gravy. He meets me after work, I help him with his job hunt, we watch Zodiac like 80 times. Let's just say the last few weeks were chill. No funk. Now, it gets tricky. I know he's been recently frustrated with his job hunt. He commented to me several times how he "hates having no money." I know how he feels; it took me seven months to find a 9 to 5. And I ain't the type of chick to berate brothas for being trifling and all that hooplah because that's some entitlement, resentful shit that I can't get down with. I'm humble and I share. So, the last few weeks I've tried to be as encouraging as I could. I know people are broke. Shit I'm BROKE and I HAVE A JOB. So I digg his situation, ya digg? Anyway, out of the blue, homeboy starts fakin on dates. He says he'll meet me after work like he's done numerous times but around the time I get off, he cancels. Now I know we've been kickin it for a little less than a month but it's been like everyday so it was a little intense...so anyway, the dude starts canceling and I can't figure it out. Eventually I stop calling and he doesn't call either. So that's where it left off...weird, I thought. I can't seem to figure it out. I'm not the one to stress over dudes or even give it that much thought, but I can't help to wonder...hmmm, what's up with homeboy?
My friend just started a blog and she had a posting on there that relates her experience with one dude at a club one night. Long and short of it, he calls her and her "kind of black women" stuck up because they expect too much from a man. I know we're all familiar with the Angry black woman bullshit that manifests from a period of time where black women were, in fact, angry with black males. I know we used to be resentful of interacial dating and the negligence on behalf of black men and rightfully so. But I just don't be trippin like that because I ain't stuntin what everyone thinks, I occupy myself with what that one black male thinks...but I remember. I'm 24; I recall Queen Latifah being like "who you callin a bitch? U.N.I.T.Y. That's a UNITY!" but I can't really say I feel angry with brothas. I don't feel anything of the sort actually. I ain't trippin off your financial status or your educational history. You got good convo? Good. You read? Excellent. You like to have money in your pocket? Even Better. Love ya momma? I thought so. Me? Well, I did go to a great school and I've lived overseas and I can say I look pretty damn good, but I ain't goin shun a nig for not going to school or not having a job or having crooked teeth. Seriously, it sounds shallow but so many sistahs do it. So, back to the point at hand, I wonder what happened with homeboy?
Some chicks can't figure out why the ugliest bitch in the room got dudes flockin to her. It's because of the confidence that she exudes and the non-judgment that she represents. No one wants to be judged and berated, especially by their mate, so I can understand where woman get verbally mushed because of these "standards" of a black man needing to have a job, straight teeth, nice clothes, great convo, no criminal record etc. They say they're not asking a lot but relative to the plight of black dudes (1 in 3 having a criminal history), it's not likely they'll find this guy and if they do, he's probably married...sorry.
So I'm just saying, I'm not a stickler, but I still seem to have dating issues. Don't get me wrong, finding a man isn't the problem; finding one ready to deal with me is. My guy friends complain all the time that if they could just find a chill chick, they'd be good. Either they're full of shit or deluded...or maybe I'm the crazy bitch...