OM…God?

Originally Posted on 11.14.2010
Okay, I've officially succumbed to the social bullshit humdrum. Yes, I've become a tweeter. WTF? I thought I was too deep for this shit. I used to make fun of people on twitter, updating their bullshit statuses after they ate a banana or just fucked somebody's broke ass, toothless baby daddy in some Podunk black or white town in the heart of bankrupt America (i.e. somewhere in the Midwest). Man, I feel more exploited than that "Hide ja kids, hide ja wife" nigga with that dirty ass red bandanna. Well not really, at least that nigga was on TV and blew the fuck up for a week on YouTube. You sellout! And your sister was supposedly raped, yeah fucking right. But still, I'm no different and if confronted with the opportunity for a week of exposure, I'd probably do the same with my silly ass friends. Actually thinking people are interested in what I have to say is a punch to the gut to me. I can't help but to ridicule and deride myself over the decision to join Twitter. It's not even as if I'm disillusioned as to think I will be different and garner a mass of people following my posts and reading my lips as I text the latest tweet. I can't even say I joined because I"m genuinely intrigued by social media and the development of social technology over the past decade. I have 200 friends on facebook and most of them are so restricted that they can't even see my updates or photos. I don't even have a profile pic listed for random searches. My shit is official. Really, I don't even like facebook. It's a nuisance thinking of witty bullshit just so people can say "like" it or comment "Awesome, me too!" Who gives a fuck? Still, I succumbed to the pressure of my homegirls to join this bullshit "networking" site all on the strength of how funny they think I am after I've been drinking and smoking joints for 3 hours. I suddenly become hysterical through their true blood eyes and slurred speech. So yes, if you're wondering, I did it for my ego. Under an alias however. I wasn't as grandeur as to put MY name on this, believing it would boost my intrigue just a lil bit. Actually a friend and I set it up as a forum for salacious but local gossip and one-liner opinions from our respective social crews. And while all of our friends' stories are hell-fucking-larious to us, I doubt that anyone else would find our conversational meanderings as funny as we do. In fact, I predict that we will have absolutely no "followers" on twitter and even our close homegirls, from which our content derives, will even look at our page. Our skandaloshow (tweet and retweet us ;) will probably fizzle out in 3 months. I'll put money on it.